A new chapter... Gamstop has been a blessing

[Triggered101]

This will be a long post. This is not a cry for help. But the first time I have ever spoken about my gambling. I'm a normal guy who has become world class at living a double life not even my partner, friends or family know about. Maybe someone will read this and spot the signs. I'm one of the lucky ones.

I have always loved fruit machines. It all started from being 8 years old I would a steal the tokens from behind the bar of my uncles pub to play them. During my teen years I would play any fruit machines i could blowing my pocket money and paper round money at the bowling complex near bye. This would carry on until I left school and got a job. I would again blow all my money except my rent to my parents. Taking the same route home on pay days, to hit my favourite fruit machines. I have an obsessive behaviour and these slots became like drugs to me, even worse I thought i could beat them. This part of my life has never really stopped, but now I can put £5 in here and their and stop no problem.

Moving onto when FOBT started. I would have been around 22 at the time and I was amazed how much you can win in seconds. What could take me hours stood at a fruit machine I could win in minutes. Of course I won and my obsessive behaviour has never looked back. I have spent countless hours stood at these machines whilst my partner thinks I was elsewhere, winning and losing hundreds. I know people say it but they were my crack fix. My friends have seen me play these and questioned my spending, even holding onto my money to stop me but I could only spend my withdrawal limit for my card which was a massive help. I have again kicked this part of my life.

The online phase is when it all spiralled out of control. I'm big into football and would spend maybe £20 on bets a week. No huge wins until I signed up to 1 betting company and had a £50 100% matched first deposit. I placed a £50 6fold acca with the free money..... it came in for £1450. I was delirious, I had never won so much. I had also never put anything close to £50 on a bet. Over the next 2 days I would lose around £800 placing silly bets until the sunday night, no football to bet on I had to find a way to get the money back NOW. Basketball inplay... I put £500 on a college basketball team -24.5pts handicap. It lost. I managed to lose in 48hrs the most money I had ever won at that time in my life, I never gave cashing out a thought or buying anything until it was gone. Then the online slots started in between the sports, betting £200 on a horse, £50 on virtual anything to try and win chasing my losses. £300 deposit was the norm chasing bonuses on the slots, before I know it I'm £900 in and not a bonus in sight...WTF was I doing I blew all my savings. Credit cards and loans followed chasing big wins after big losses over a period of 4 years until one day i tried to sign up for a payday loan hitting rock bottom and out of the blue i thought WTF am i doing. It left me with around £25,000 in debts only I know about. I am lucky i can hide all this behind my job which pays me enough to pay off my debts without having to open up to anybody.

This is the new chapter. I signed up for gamstop 4 months ago as it was the only way to stop my online gambling. I found it hard, even tried signing up for casinos outside of Gamstop but looking into these further I decided against it. Now it doesn't bother me.

 I still enjoy a football bet but because I have to go the bookies most if the time I cant be botherd. 

The stress of living a double life is terrible, but I will never open up to my long term partner until my debts are paid in a few years time. I feel lucky I got out intact without losing my friends, house family, kids, partner and job etc. 

It is never to late to stop✌

 

[david1111]

@Triggered101 your story of starting gambling at an early age and progressing through the ranks so to speak will resonate with a lot of people including myself.

I could have coped with gambling without online, but that is what got me in the end. Just far to easy to lose money.

As for the secrecy, once again, very common amongst gamblers. I've said before that non gamblers don't understand and never will.

Great you finished with a happy ending as that more often than not doesn't happen. So many end up losing literally everything. It's just not worth it.

As you say never to late. 

[Triggered101]

Thanks for the reply @david1111 I wasnt fishing for anything.It just felt great writing that before, Sort of a partial weight lifted. Gamblers anonymous was to personal for me. I have seen posts with great advise over the last few days which inspired me to open up a little. The mental side of this will always be a battle, talking helps alot.✌

[Miller26]

Your story is our story triggred in that we have all been through it. 

The only advice what I can give you to maybe put you off using sites outside gam stop is this. 

If you use them the follows will happen 

 

1. You will still lose 

2. You will be playing slots with lower rtps and even pirated games 

3. You will not get paid if by some miracle you did cash out as they will make up some rule you broke 

4.your phone number and email address will be sold on the dark Web fro spamming purposes as you are a high value mug in there eyes. 

5. Your ID will also be sold for fraud purposes. 

 

All the above has/is happening as we speak to problem gamblers mate 

[PieGamble]

@Triggered101 Just out of interest - how do you suppose your partner would react if they found out?

Is it one of those scenarios where the deceit of it all would be the biggest blow?

[david1111]

7 hours ago, Triggered101 said:

Thanks for the reply @david1111 I wasnt fishing for anything.It just felt great writing that before, Sort of a partial weight lifted. Gamblers anonymous was to personal for me. I have seen posts with great advise over the last few days which inspired me to open up a little. The mental side of this will always be a battle, talking helps alot.✌

Any time mate. We all support each other where possible.

[Solario333]

Your story is very familiar ...... So much deceit and so little self worth.  You are learning that money matters . You are learning that you matter . When you make these giant steps it must be done every day , in every moment. 

You have demonstrated care and Love for those who share your life , and sufficient discipline to move forward --- so now take some more steps....

Spend time in nature 

eat quality food

Go to bed earlier

Avoid technology , especially video games

Spend time with your partner

Find a hobby to occupy your mind

Stay strong and enjoy the money you earn ,respect the small amounts and large amounts equally 

Recognise that only you can show self belief and purpose 

Relax more and take time to have fun.....

 

and above all have a wonderful Christmas --- and thank you for posting truth and not deceit.

Edited December 24, 2019 by Solario333

[Kev40]

Thanks for sharing your story @Triggered101. I think as others have said most can relate to your story. I'm also on gamstop and have been for several months. It sounds like you have certainly turned a corner and are taking the right steps. There's always people on here if your feeling vulnerable and we will always help the best we can. Good luck mate and welcome to the forum.

[ColourMeUp]

Get into collecting something, few people on here into collecting gold/silver/coins etc, good investment, get the thrill of spending money but actually still have something of significant monetary value at the end. Good luck.

[MrUKHackz]

Thanks for sharing @Triggered101 and I'm glad it's all working out for you, these post's could potentially save someone else down the line and that can only be a good thing 

[Triggered101]

9 hours ago, PieGamble said:

@Triggered101 Just out of interest - how do you suppose your partner would react if they found out?

Is it one of those scenarios where the deceit of it all would be the biggest blow?

I have no idea Pie. At best I would think disappointed. Worst case the trust between us would be hard to make right having lied for years. She has known I've gambled in the past here and their but not to the extents and amounts I found myself towards the end. Luckily the debt is all mine so she doesn't need to know or have to get involved, if it did that would probably be the end of us☹

[Triggered101]

7 hours ago, Solario333 said:

Your story is very familiar ...... So much deceit and so little self worth.  You are learning that money matters . You are learning that you matter . When you make these giant steps it must be done every day , in every moment. 

You have demonstrated care and Love for those who share your life , and sufficient discipline to move forward --- so now take some more steps....

Spend time in nature 

eat quality food

Go to bed earlier

Avoid technology , especially video games

Spend time with your partner

Find a hobby to occupy your mind

Stay strong and enjoy the money you earn ,respect the small amounts and large amounts equally 

Recognise that only you can show self belief and purpose 

Relax more and take time to have fun.....

 

and above all have a wonderful Christmas --- and thank you for posting truth and not deceit.

Yes @Solario333 all those points you make are very true. The worst thing is having money and to much time, the boredom can set you on the wrong path. I'm going to take fitness up again after new year. The old cliche "new year new me"✌ healthy mind and body is the way forward.

[Triggered101]

3 hours ago, ColourMeUp said:

Get into collecting something, few people on here into collecting gold/silver/coins etc, good investment, get the thrill of spending money but actually still have something of significant monetary value at the end. Good luck.

That sounds like a great idea. Before taking the leap I looked around at various things and the gold collection was one of them. One of the things I did was put money into my kids accounts every week and seeing that building up is great knowing it's out off reach and a great investment for them when they will be old enough to spend it.

[adamuk]

Just read this @Triggered101 I was away in India at the time so forgive me for not seeing it.

Very honest post and I hope fellow TGC members can help you on your journey one that most can relate to.

 

[Triggered101]

Thanks @adamuk. Yeah everyone here has been more than welcoming. I dont use any other social media so this place helps to just have a general chat. Its helped me since joining no doubt opening up a little

[Triggered101]

On 23/12/2019 at 22:37, Triggered101 said:

This will be a long post. This is not a cry for help. But the first time I have ever spoken about my gambling. I'm a normal guy who has become world class at living a double life not even my partner, friends or family know about. Maybe someone will read this and spot the signs. I'm one of the lucky ones.

I have always loved fruit machines. It all started from being 8 years old I would a steal the tokens from behind the bar of my uncles pub to play them. During my teen years I would play any fruit machines i could blowing my pocket money and paper round money at the bowling complex near bye. This would carry on until I left school and got a job. I would again blow all my money except my rent to my parents. Taking the same route home on pay days, to hit my favourite fruit machines. I have an obsessive behaviour and these slots became like drugs to me, even worse I thought i could beat them. This part of my life has never really stopped, but now I can put £5 in here and their and stop no problem.

Moving onto when FOBT started. I would have been around 22 at the time and I was amazed how much you can win in seconds. What could take me hours stood at a fruit machine I could win in minutes. Of course I won and my obsessive behaviour has never looked back. I have spent countless hours stood at these machines whilst my partner thinks I was elsewhere, winning and losing hundreds. I know people say it but they were my crack fix. My friends have seen me play these and questioned my spending, even holding onto my money to stop me but I could only spend my withdrawal limit for my card which was a massive help. I have again kicked this part of my life.

The online phase is when it all spiralled out of control. I'm big into football and would spend maybe £20 on bets a week. No huge wins until I signed up to 1 betting company and had a £50 100% matched first deposit. I placed a £50 6fold acca with the free money..... it came in for £1450. I was delirious, I had never won so much. I had also never put anything close to £50 on a bet. Over the next 2 days I would lose around £800 placing silly bets until the sunday night, no football to bet on I had to find a way to get the money back NOW. Basketball inplay... I put £500 on a college basketball team -24.5pts handicap. It lost. I managed to lose in 48hrs the most money I had ever won at that time in my life, I never gave cashing out a thought or buying anything until it was gone. Then the online slots started in between the sports, betting £200 on a horse, £50 on virtual anything to try and win chasing my losses. £300 deposit was the norm chasing bonuses on the slots, before I know it I'm £900 in and not a bonus in sight...WTF was I doing I blew all my savings. Credit cards and loans followed chasing big wins after big losses over a period of 4 years until one day i tried to sign up for a payday loan hitting rock bottom and out of the blue i thought WTF am i doing. It left me with around £25,000 in debts only I know about. I am lucky i can hide all this behind my job which pays me enough to pay off my debts without having to open up to anybody.

This is the new chapter. I signed up for gamstop 4 months ago as it was the only way to stop my online gambling. I found it hard, even tried signing up for casinos outside of Gamstop but looking into these further I decided against it. Now it doesn't bother me.

 I still enjoy a football bet but because I have to go the bookies most if the time I cant be botherd. 

The stress of living a double life is terrible, but I will never open up to my long term partner until my debts are paid in a few years time. I feel lucky I got out intact without losing my friends, house family, kids, partner and job etc. 

It is never to late to stop✌

 

I come back once in a while to read this.

So it's been along time since this post and all I can say is it's not to late to stop gambling, get help and move on with your life.

Since this post I have opened up to my friends, family and even my partner. Cleared my debts, and also still gambling free.

Stay strong, do not feel ashamed to need or ask for help.

 

Edited March 12, 2022 by Triggered101

[Blacko]

9 minutes ago, Triggered101 said:

I come back once in a while to read this.

So it's been along time since this post and all I can say is it's not to late to stop gambling, get help and move on with your life.

Since this post I have opened up to my friends, family and even my partner. Cleared my debts, and also still gambling free.

Stay strong, do not feel ashamed to need or ask for help.

 

Fantastic hardman, all the very best and well done

 

 

 

Edited March 12, 2022 by Blacko
Had to search for Kim Jon Un clapping GIF

[Solario333]

 

7 hours ago, Triggered101 said:

I come back once in a while to read this.

So it's been along time since this post and all I can say is it's not to late to stop gambling, get help and move on with your life.

Since this post I have opened up to my friends, family and even my partner. Cleared my debts, and also still gambling free.

Stay strong, do not feel ashamed to need or ask for help.

 

you have learnt one of life most valuable lessons -- how to stand alone and take ownership of the choices you make. Happiness and Joy are the result as people become the centre of your life . Well done .  Now you have proved you matter and quality enters your life . this is wisdom.