Back in 2000 I returned back to Scotland having spent a few years in Dorset where I had been engaged to an English girl, it wasn't a bad breakup but I took it terribly and felt hopeless at that point. Through self pity I attempted to drink myself out of a problem, my next love appeared quickly in the form of FOBts and online gambling. Within 6 Months I managed to get my hands on every form of credit including credit cards, payday loans, high levels of debt with online retailers... every fucker who would give me credit. Within a year of breaking up with my fiancee I was broke, NOTHING! except 28k of debt, refused to turn my mobile on as the creditors were calling me at every hour chasing payments, I ended up having to declare myself insolvent resulting in a Scottish trust deed where I sat with fuck all for years on end. I met my wife during the dark years and never had enough money to take her out for a decent meal or a night on the town, It was miserable and I'm still feeling the pain many years later. If I could wind back the clock and change things I certainly would.
I see big time similarities in what I went through and what you could end up going through!, you can't be trusted with cash at the moment mate, it could be years down the line till you are in a better place. You have to speak to someone!, you can't wait to get hold of that tax rebate to spend it. You come across as someone who is at their lowest at the moment, your fiancee leaving you has affected the way your thinking!, throw booze and gambling into the mix and you end up with a walking wreck. It's as if your driving towards a brick wall and are unable to take your foot off the accelerator, you have to act NOW, no more feeling sorry for yourself.
Speak to someone, phone GA, chat with the members on here but for fuck sake shake yourself down and face your demons. Either that or you will be taking your next bird to Wetherspoons with a voucher cut out the local paper just as I had to a few years ago.
I'm not being a prick my Irish friend but I think your needing a kick up the arse.