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Feeling helpless


therealwintersoldier

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That must’ve been awful mate hope he’s ok. Don’t blame yourself you can’t be right by his side 24/7 it’s just a freak accident, could happen to anyone. How old is he?

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4 minutes ago, therealwintersoldier said:

As a parent,  you would do absolutely anything to help your kids. I've never felt the helpless feeling before until yesterday morning at just before 11am when my beautiful boy fell 50ft down the side of a steep hill up in the Peak District. He slipped and gravity took hold as he went head over heels smacking his leg on a big rock on the way down. The feeling in my stomach as I ran as fast as I could to him was something I've never felt before. I've had the most horrific reoccurring nightmare of this scenario over the past years and at no point had it ended well. Amazingly he was breathing and seemed other than pain in his leg to be OK. I picked him up and carried him to the bottom to assess his injuries. I moved his right leg gently to the horror of a cracking femur bone. There was no way we could carry him down from the position we were at. The Mrs went off in search of help as phone signal was a no go. It took nearly 2 hours for help to arrive just in time as he had started to go into shock. The mountain rescue team called in for the air ambulance. On arrival the doctor confirmed my initial thoughts on the leg and asked to see if the helicopter could land next to where we were. It was a tight spot but the pilot managed to land it. Throughout the the 2 hours guilt had took hold of me. Why wasn't I there to keep him safe?  I'd been with him all the way upto a couple of minutes beforehand but had let him go. Stop being over protective! He's been at hospital since and has had surgery this morning to insert nails into the bone. He's doing good though I've not been in as it's a 24 hour 1 adult only policy. All I can feel is the helpless guilty feeling that I should have done more. I didn't sleep last night as the image kept going through my mind.  Am hoping that a bit of face time in a bit helps take some of this away.

Horrible to hear and I hope he gets better ASAP. Just remember good parents are the ones who let their children experience the outdoors and live a real life which has inherent risk sadly. So many parents would have been happy for their children to be indoors gaming online or on social media spending their time that way but you took your son out to experience the real world. I know for a fact when has grown up and has an appreciation of the outdoors borne out of you showing him it he will thank you inspite of this incident. Hope he gets better soon.

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1 minute ago, therealwintersoldier said:

6, it was. If any of us had come down like he did I don't think we would had made it.

Yeah they’re very bendy kids aren’t they. Like I said don’t beat yourself up mate, nothing you could’ve done.

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15 minutes ago, therealwintersoldier said:

As a parent,  you would do absolutely anything to help your kids. I've never felt the helpless feeling before until yesterday morning at just before 11am when my beautiful boy fell 50ft down the side of a steep hill up in the Peak District. He slipped and gravity took hold as he went head over heels smacking his leg on a big rock on the way down. The feeling in my stomach as I ran as fast as I could to him was something I've never felt before. I've had the most horrific reoccurring nightmare of this scenario over the past years and at no point had it ended well. Amazingly he was breathing and seemed other than pain in his leg to be OK. I picked him up and carried him to the bottom to assess his injuries. I moved his right leg gently to the horror of a cracking femur bone. There was no way we could carry him down from the position we were at. The Mrs went off in search of help as phone signal was a no go. It took nearly 2 hours for help to arrive just in time as he had started to go into shock. The mountain rescue team called in for the air ambulance. On arrival the doctor confirmed my initial thoughts on the leg and asked to see if the helicopter could land next to where we were. It was a tight spot but the pilot managed to land it. Throughout the the 2 hours guilt had took hold of me. Why wasn't I there to keep him safe?  I'd been with him all the way upto a couple of minutes beforehand but had let him go. Stop being over protective! He's been at hospital since and has had surgery this morning to insert nails into the bone. He's doing good though I've not been in as it's a 24 hour 1 adult only policy. All I can feel is the helpless guilty feeling that I should have done more. I didn't sleep last night as the image kept going through my mind.  Am hoping that a bit of face time in a bit helps take some of this away.

I am sure he will be fine mate - at least you are getting your child out and about instead of putting him infront of the xbox all day. We have a 4 week old and ive told the mrs no social media or games consoles he can go and play out instead otherwise he will become very unsocial (like me). 

At that age mate kids are fearless and i am sure that he will bounce back really quickly - he is at an age where he is still growing and he probably didn't tense up on the fall down. If it was someone older from that height it would have been a completley different story. 

I know its a nightmare with COVID etc restricting entry to the hospital but try not to beat yourself up over it. Unfortunatley kids will be kids and these things will always happen to someone at somepoint. 

It sounds like the pilot for the air ambulance did a great job - the mountain rescue team as well. Often massivley overlooked part of the emergency services. 

Hopefully all he will remember about it was that he had a slight fall and then got to ride in the big helicopter!

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How horrific it must have been for you all.😥

Accidents happen, try not beat yourself up. Easier said than done I know. I can't even imagine the panic you felt.

I hope he makes a full recovery, focus on this and not how it happened. Children tend to bounce and are pretty bendy, like you say if the was an adult could have been a different story. 

Sending lots of healing vibes his way! ❤

Please let us know how he is after you face time him. 

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No point beating yourself up about it as it's just a freak accident and it could have been worse.  I'm sure you must have been panicked at the time but he's over the worst of it and I'm sure will be fine.  Round my way a man his wife and his 9 year old kid all drowned in Loch Lomond on Saturday when they got into trouble and he tried to save them, happens all the time, people come down from Glasgow and see water and think it's the Riviera and dive in with no idea how strong the under currents are.  Just trying to point out that things could have been a lot worse and you should not be losing any sleep about what you could have done any differently as given the scenario you both did great as parents and the fact you are feeling the way you are only reinforces this.

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You can't beat yourself up mate, you need to try to stop alll those what if scenarios and whys going through your head because you'll blame yourself at every turn. Accidents happen with the most attentive of parents.

Thankfully he's alright in the grand scheme of things so be thankful for that and try n keep your chin up. Kids are hardy blighters and he'll be running you ragged in no time.

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Gees mate can't imagine what that was like for either of you. I'm not a parent but can understand the feelings of guilt and thinking you could of done more. Thing is though it's called an accident because that's exactly what it is an accident. An incident beyond anyone's control. As others have said don't beat yourself up or at least try not to. I broke my leg when i was 6 playing football and made a full recovery as I'm sure your son will.

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Bloody hell mate, as a parent I can't begin to think how awful that must have been. I wish your lad a speedy recovery. 

Try not to replay it in you mind and feel guilty. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

That is easier said than done though. This is very different, but when I was about 16 after some of us had a few drinks, one of my best friends was run over and sadly died in front of me. My last words to him literally 2 minutes before it happened was 'calm down your being to hyper' even now I think to myself could I have done more, but truthfully I could never of foreseen or prevented it.

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Reminds me of what happened to a pal and his daughter a good few years back, wish I still had the email he sent me as I was doubled over with laughter, basically he was encouraging his daughter to get a bit fitter and lose some weight, all she liked doing was eating and reading books, he gets her a bike as my pal is keen cyclist and he takes her up near this big local windfarm,  well out the way from people etc, anyway he's also into photography so he's got the camera out looking at daft things and learning how to use all the settings on his new camera, his daughter is going up and down this big very steep hill on her new bike,  she goes down the hill for about the 5th time and shouts on him, the usual Daaaaaad look at MEEE! 

Yup she falls and smashes her face on the ground, she's out cold face all blood - teeth don't look great either, trouble is his Ex Mrs was a total fucknut of a woman and always played daft access games or prevent him seeing his daughter if she found out about something daft, ''off subject for a Mo'' we went to Blackpool about 2008 and I told him to put his phone off as all she'd do is pester him instead of just letting him be a Dad for a few days, anyway by the time we got checked into the hotel she had called him about 92 times ''Crazy bitch'' trust me, when she did get him she was threatening to call the police, her problem was she found out we went on holiday and was attempting to feck that up by any means possible, even when we came home on the Monday she called my mates phone asked to speak with her daughter and spoke with her the full journey home, I was driving and it was doing my nut in as the call lasted about 95% of the full journey home, just wish my mate had some balls to take the phone and say ............LISTEN, She's in good hands, NOW FECK OFF! 

Anyway back to the bike crash, my pal calls emergency and tells them the score, because of his location they send a helicopter, he's not thinking GREAT!  He's thinking ...........I'm dead, her mums going to go nuts at this and just kill me lol. 

Helicopter arrives but can only take his daughter ''unsure why'' so they fly off to Glasgow hospital, he sends a msg to his Ex with ''basic story'' YUP she starts calling like the nutter she is and he's giving her the story while driving, she's calling him for everything and all the poison is coming out and that he'll never see her again the lot, again I wish he had the balls to say ........Look she'll be fine now FECK OFF!  He's just not that kind of guy. 

Now I got all this story via an email but it was a lot longer than this and full of much more details, but he ended the email by saying ..........................

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.......I think if there's a next time I'll just take her to the pictures 

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Bless him, i hope once the shock wears off, you learn to give yourself a break.

In no time at all, he will be telling all his friends the story. With loads of exaggerations added and how he got to go in an air ambulance.

It is so hard not being able to be there with him, but his biggest problem will be choosing the colour of his cast.

To ease the feeling of being helpless, maybe do some things you can control like get some sharpies so his friends can write all over it,  find some activities, games etc to do indoors or the garden whilst he isn't as mobile. 

You can also get some cool slip designs online to make the cast waterproof for showers etc.

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