All in one : My story from the start!!

[Antonin 3,505]

All in one : My story from the start!!

My name is Antonin, I'm 25 years old, I come from France  and I am a compulsive gambler in recovery (6 months gamble free)

My life has never been easy for me because as a kid I was a bit shy and I never had many friend because of that

I had a lack of confidence in myself

I didn't want to talk to anybody and the only thing I wanted to do was to go on my computer and play video games

I had a gaming  addiction, the only game I wanted to play was FIFA 07 to 14 (song) (completly stopped at 19 years old) 

I always thought nobody was like me 

 

 At school before 15 years old, while everyone enjoyed to play sports and talk to each other, I used to stay on my own

I thought that I could never be  a "normal" person

 

 At 15 years old, 

I used to talk  a bit more and I had some really good friends 

I used to play soccer  a lot, I was very good at it

Some people wanted me to play in a club but I was still a bit shy so I never did

When I look back now, I regret it ... 

 

 At 20 years old,

One day, my father told me : "Antonin, if you want to do something with your life you must learn English , it's very useful"

Few months later after we found a place where to go,  I was in england to learn the language

No need to tell you how hard it was to speak english but I had no choice and I should manage this on my own 

After 7 months over there, I'm not bilingual yet but I can have a conversation with an english person

So, I came back to France ...

 

 At 21 years old, 

After all these years, I've experienced traumas in childhood including : Parents getting divorced  and Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) 

I found a job so I could earn my own money but I was introduced to online gambling not long after my first pay check

And here started the worst period of my life 

When I look back, I escalated into a compulsive gambler very quickly

I had money in my bank that I could spend  with no thought

I had no idea what the gambling addiction was

On a night I had been winning more than €6000, it was like a dream , I thought I could make a living from gambling ...

I can still recall that high feeling

I ended up losing it all. I always wanted to get it all back, no matter what

I always chased my losses . I always thought I was smarter than the Casino 

I've spent all that time and energy gambling online, dealt with emotional lows of bad beats

I sacrificed food and sleep. I was gambling to make some money

As we all know, it doesn't work that way, it couldn't be the case ...

I used to make large bets €400, €600, €1500 on a roulette  spin. I was hoping for a hot streak.

By then, I was usually exhausted and just really wanted to get my money back or losing it all

More than often, I would lose it all 

I would always minimize my losses, saying I lost €400 when in reality that was €3000

At the end I lost arround 30k in total 

 

 At 25 years old,

 4 March 2019, I finally quit gambling, and since then my life has improved a lot

When looking at the difficulties that I have faced I can see in retrospect that these challenges ultimately made me stronger and taught me some important lessons

 

** The benefits ** 

- I've got confident in myself and clearly a different person
- Money  in the bank to do whatever I want 
- Family now trusts me
- I've plans 
- No more mood swings
- More time to see my loved ones 
- More time to do hobbies I liked before (soccer, bike, design)

 

 But why I was gambling

I was gambling in order to escape from negative emotions. These emotions include loneliness and boredom

I was rushing off to my gambling site to "de-stress" after a hectic day at work

Once the session had begun, this intense focus on play is a powerful distraction, and personal problems seemed to miraculously disappear

Gambling is such an effective means of distraction, a powerful means of escape, that I didn't see my gambling as a problem in my life

I believed it was a part of the solution ...

The reality though, is that gambling plays a detrimental role in the lives of gamblers. It can cause a range of harms, financial, health issues and emotional problems

Understanding why I couldn't stop once I had started is a crucial step in quitting gambling

 

Every now and then, I get the urge to gamble but it's far less as it used be and now not a problem

If I ever get the urge, I know the consequences and that's enough not to gamble

 

Where I am now 

I'm living ultimately a better live

The fact I quit gambling is a huge thing

I don't get worried to pay my rent and bills 

I stay busy all the time so I don't think to gambling

The peace I have now without gambling is enough to stay away from it

A friend of mine couldn't believe how much I'd changed during all that time

 

 The message I have to tell to the compulsive gamblers : 

One thing that makes your dream become impossible : the fear of failure

If your determination is fixed, I suggest you do not despair

The great things are performed by perseverance

Say to yourself every single day : "I can acheive EVERYTHING I want to do"

It's not easy but you're better than that

YOU want a better life but nothing can happen if you don't want it. Only you can change.

I was like all of you, not better, not worst, I thought it was impossible to quit BUT I was wrong ... IT IS POSSIBLE TO QUIT!!

To this day,  30 august 2019, I hope that anyone who suffers from this evil addiction gets the faith to quit Gambling

 

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This community TGC is now like a part of my life and I will always be thankful because I have met people that I couldn't ever met in my real life

Well done and thanks to the owner of this site for making this happen  @Rocknrolla. One of the most kindest person 

Thanks to the mods and admins, especially @MrUKHackz You're doing a fantastic job

 

Thank you to the members, ALL of them, especially @david1111 you're amazing, no matter what, you've always been by my side and @Bangers to show me the way with the others who have followed my thread : Everything is lost again : I'm lost!!

 

Thanks a MILLION!!! 

Much LOVE 

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[Jok3st3r 12,378]

@Antonin great story and one that I'm sure will help many others...... you should be super proud of yourself, I know many people here are, including myself.

It has been a joy to watch you go through this journey and end up here..... the best outcome you could have hoped for. 

Much love ❤

[Fudge 1,638]

Thanks for sharing your story.

[david1111 17,637]

@Antonin what can I say. Amazing to stay so strong and acheive what you have. 

You now have your whole life ahead of you to do the things you want to do.

I'm so happy to have been on the journey with you and see you succeed in this manner.

The future is bright for you now.

I wish you every success. I'm sure you will succeed as your determination is proven

Much love mate

Edited August 30, 2019 by david1111

[Guest centipede]

Thanks for sharing that on here @Antonin

What you have achieved since the start of your other thread is amazing, and an inspiration for anyone in the same boat who wants to stop also but doesn't think its possible.

You acknowledged it. You owned it. You fought it. You stopped it.

You will still have urges even in years and years time, that is the nature of the addiction, but as every day passes it becomes easier to say 'Fuck you' to gambling.

What do you see in your future now? and what are your plans to achieve it?

You are still a young whippersnapper, so go forth and live the life you want mate.

All the best

[Blampy 13,844]

Wonderful story @Antonin thanks for sharing that with us and a story that I’m sure will be a great help to others. Congratulations on your achievements and long may it continue. Well done mon ami (that’s French that is).

[adamuk 3,673]

The whole journey has been amazing to read, full of ups and downs and you have emerged victorious. Speaking from experience @centipede is correct that addiction can and will pop it's ugly head up throughout life as you strive forward, you know in your heart the signs so you are in a great position to fight it and win when this happens. 

I'm positive your post and your journey will and does help others and give them faith, and undoubtedly new people will join here with similar problems, and they will always be told and directed to read the great TGC success story that is Antonin.

Adam.

[1pstaker 12,148]

Wonderful stuff @Antonin.  In particular for me, reading the "why did I gamble" section, was like reading a very large chapter of my own life in gambling. Congrats on getting this far, and wish you only success for the future.

[Kev40 7,497]

Lovely story mate. Your very much an inspiration. Congratulations on six months and on to the next six. 

[Hacko 1 3,111]

Excellent story @Antonin, you might be young but your words show a maturity beyond your years.

I am going to thank you personally because you my friend are the reason that I have been able to control my own gambling demons.

Your absolutely spot on with the above post and I believe most if not all compulsive gamblers are trying to find an escape from their childhood experiences, for me as soon as that bookies door closed behind me I was in a fantasy land where I could escape my thoughts and when looking back now I didn’t want to open that door again and walk back into reality, @centipede will understand this about long periods stuck inside a bookies shop and the surreal feeling of walking out 8 hour later with your pockets empty.

I came over to this forum from the enemy initially for the Cheltenham comp and have stayed, the reason being is for people like you and threads like this.

They have and do help.

Thank you Antonin and all on this forum it’s a great community

 

 

 

[Lighty45 682]

Congratulations Dude, always so hard to admit to other people how bad the addiction has become. 

I personally would like to see the age for online gambling raised to say 25. Give these people time to live first and experience some of lifes pitfalls. Sure they can place a bet in the bookies but i doubt if it would ever get this bad. 

Any way keep doing what you are doing because with each passing day you will become a stronger person

[Markymark 3,983]

Be very proud of yourself, stay strong and much love

[Guest centipede]

21 minutes ago, Hacko 1 said:

Excellent story @Antonin, you might be young but your words show a maturity beyond your years.

I am going to thank you personally because you my friend are the reason that I have been able to control my own gambling demons.

Your absolutely spot on with the above post and I believe most if not all compulsive gamblers are trying to find an escape from their childhood experiences, for me as soon as that bookies door closed behind me I was in a fantasy land where I could escape my thoughts and when looking back now I didn’t want to open that door again and walk back into reality, @centipede will understand this about long periods stuck inside a bookies shop and the surreal feeling of walking out 8 hour later with your pockets empty.

I came over to this forum from the enemy initially for the Cheltenham comp and have stayed, the reason being is for people like you and threads like this.

They have and do help.

Thank you Antonin and all on this forum it’s a great community

 

 

 

I do indeed mate, not just when weve lost big, but the sheer intensity of an 8 hour session betting on everything you can get your hands on. Just frazzles your brain completely. That fresh air in your face when you leave, your legs like jelly takes you a good few hours at home before you feel normalish again

[Kinkerbells 7,840]

What a great great story and I have to say your English writing is better than mine . Stay strong and I hope your life goes exactly how you want it. Much love Anton. Xx

[Brownman24 3,851]

Great story mate and I would definitely smash you at Fifa

[McSplooger 993]

Its great to see you've continued to choose the right path mate. When I left you had only just started so to see you've carried on refraining from gambling and you're in a better place is awesome!

Really please for you mate and hopefully can see you as some form of hope when they are down and out. 

All the best brother! 

 

[Solario333 11,323]

@Antonin Just for once I am delighted that you have come so far ,in such a short space of time. Your maturity and perception has increased greatly as you have fought and won the battle for life.

Always here to help and listen , to correct and advise , it is heartwarming to see such success !! Well done Indeed !! I am proud of you !!

[Solario333 11,323]

@Antonin Just for once--- I am delighted that you have come so far ,in such a short space of time. Your maturity and perception has increased greatly as you have fought and won the battle for life.

Always here to help and listen , to correct and advise , it is heartwarming to see such success !! Well done Indeed !! I am proud of you !!

I would also like to say to @david1111 .....This is why you must stay on the forum and build a new strength from the weaknesses of those around you. THIS IS YOUR VICTORY TOO !!!

[david1111 17,637]

1 minute ago, Solario333 said:

@Antonin Just for once--- I am delighted that you have come so far ,in such a short space of time. Your maturity and perception has increased greatly as you have fought and won the battle for life.

Always here to help and listen , to correct and advise , it is heartwarming to see such success !! Well done Indeed !! I am proud of you !!

I would also like to say to @david1111 .....This is why you must stay on the forum and build a new strength from the weaknesses of those around you. THIS IS YOUR VICTORY TOO !!!

Thanks very much. It's all Antonin's work but I like to think I've helped along the way

[Solario333 11,323]

1 minute ago, david1111 said:

Thanks very much. It's all Antonin's work but I like to think I've helped along the way

Many people have helped and thats what its all about. You are not alone !!  The good and the great are here to help and are willing to address all manner of difficulties to tell you the reality of your dream and make it true!!  It takes all of you out there to be kind patient and supportive because Gambling can be evil and can turn a person into a living nightmare !! 

[Solario333 11,323]

I am celebrating your success 

 

Lovely on a Hot Day !!

[Sgt_bilk0 3,754]

Beautiful story @Antonin and it's a fantastic achievement where you are now after 6 months gamble free. You should be very proud of yourself. I love these types of thread as it shows the support which exists in this fantastic community. I think it really does help others who are in the same boat to see an example like yours, and all the other comrades like @david1111 succeeding. 

Your a very impressive young man.

 

[Hacko 1 3,111]

3 hours ago, Solario333 said:

I am celebrating your success 

 

Lovely on a Hot Day !!

Waitrose I can only dream of shopping in there

[Antonin 3,505]

I’m touched beyond words my friends. Your thoughtfulness is a gift that I will always treasure.

 

[Solario333 11,323]

32 minutes ago, Hacko 1 said:

Waitrose I can only dream of shopping in there

That gives me an idea ---- how about a free waitrose shop as a prize in my next competition ---- YES absolutely......why not !! 12 Pear cider added Value of course