fluffles Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Hi all Was just wandering what to do and some helpful advise. I have just found out that my partner of 15 years who has suffered with gambling addiction most of their life, has created a online casino account in my name with a fake email and has lost over 9000 pound using my bank card details. Now he also suffers with severe mental health issues, and i dont really want to get him in trouble, but i also cant forgive them for loosing what was our childrens inheritance. what should i do? what will the casino do? also what is likely to happen to them? thanks for any helpful advice 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller26 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 One he will definitely be in trouble with the law if this has happened and two , if this is the truth you are best reporting your partner as it will help him in the long term . 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david1111 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 @fluffles if you want to try and get your money back you will have to report the fraud to your bank, but they would insist in the police being involved so not an easy decision 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Player1173 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Does your partner realise that you are aware of this now? If so, how have they reacted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffles Posted June 18, 2019 Author Share Posted June 18, 2019 They don't know i don't think, i have only just found out today and had to research the deposits on my bank statements. They are currently in hospital, which i why i want to do the right thing but its a very difficult situation as we're not well off and that money is a lot to loose. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller26 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 1 minute ago, fluffles said: They don't know i don't think, i have only just found out today and had to research the deposits on my bank statements. They are currently in hospital, which i why i want to do the right thing but its a very difficult situation as we're not well off and that money is a lot to loose. It’s a lot for anyone. If he has mental problems they will go easy on him, probably just a slap in the wrist . Honestly you will need to report it , if not for you do it for him to get him the help he needs. Mental problems and gambling can go hand in hand so you will not be doing him a favours not reporting it . Hope everything works out 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philinvicta Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 If you want to try and get your money back it would likely end up fairly unpleasant experience and is going to expose your partners behavior to your children. as well as the police being involved as at the end of the day he has committed fraud. There are some casino reps and people who work in the industry around on the forum as well as people with a lot of experience of what goes on. I would hope that maybe one of these could message you and fill you in as what would need to happen and what the likely outcomes would be rather than have it all aired on an open forum. i wish you well and hope you manage to get it resolved without too much collateral damage to you and your partner, 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antonin Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) Welcome to the forum @fluffles, It's such a difficult situation for you at the moment, I wish you well though Well done to the Platoon members, they get the job done!! Edited June 18, 2019 by Antonin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieGamble Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Unfortunately, your partner has committed a crime (fraud). The bank will be legally obligated to repay you the money and that's a matter between you and them. Because it's a crime the bank will reverse those against the casino but that's between them. Obviously this is all predicted on you actually reporting the crime. It would also likely require your partner to admit the crime or be found guilty otherwise they could claim it was an a joint enterprise which would be hard to disprove. Sorry you've found yourself in this position. From a practical point of view you should probably change your cards to limit any chance of this happening again. Good luck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyrightmeow Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 I know its a hard situation but you have to make a big hard decision. What is more important to you either the money or the partner because im sure if you report this it wont end well. He will have to go to court and possible pay huge fines so you will lose even more money. I would say fuck the money and try to give your partner help with this and dont give him access to your bank and cards anymore. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest centipede Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, fluffles said: Hi all Was just wandering what to do and some helpful advise. I have just found out that my partner of 15 years who has suffered with gambling addiction most of their life, has created a online casino account in my name with a fake email and has lost over 9000 pound using my bank card details. Now he also suffers with severe mental health issues, and i dont really want to get him in trouble, but i also cant forgive them for loosing what was our childrens inheritance. what should i do? what will the casino do? also what is likely to happen to them? thanks for any helpful advice millers right in my mind. unfortunately if you choose to not do anything about it, in the long run it will only happen again at some point. He needs to have consequences for his actions and take responsibility for what he has done. If you choose not to get him in trouble, what comeuppance has he had for his actions? especially if you do get the money back, he will probably see it as no harm done (I know I would have myself back in the day) and you enable him to gamble again. We all know on here how bad and addictive gambling can be, I myself am currently fighting the addiction and have been in residential rehab before. maybe something he would be interested in looking into? its not everyones fix, so PM if you want for more details. On many gambling addiction sites there are sections for friends and family to speak and write whats going on and get advice to understand the addiction. maybe that would also help. either way, wish you well in getting this sorted, whichever way you choose to go. also, it may be something that @Andrew Margett has some thoughts on too Edited June 18, 2019 by centipede Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bangers Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 7 minutes ago, crazyrightmeow said: I know its a hard situation but you have to make a big hard decision. What is more important to you either the money or the partner because im sure if you report this it wont end well. He will have to go to court and possible pay huge fines so you will lose even more money. I would say fuck the money and try to give your partner help with this and dont give him access to your bank and cards anymore. QTY Post 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest centipede Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 9 minutes ago, crazyrightmeow said: I know its a hard situation but you have to make a big hard decision. What is more important to you either the money or the partner because im sure if you report this it wont end well. He will have to go to court and possible pay huge fines so you will lose even more money. I would say fuck the money and try to give your partner help with this and dont give him access to your bank and cards anymore. maybe thats what he needs though, and will be the kick up the arse he needs to beat the gambling demons. this could be his rock bottom. going soft may only lead to more heartbreak in the future. after all, how many times have we all said 'Ill never gamble again', or 'thats it, im done', and low and behold we are gambling again the next day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyrightmeow Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 1 minute ago, centipede said: maybe thats what he needs though, and will be the kick up the arse he needs to beat the gambling demons. this could be his rock bottom. going soft may only lead to more heartbreak in the future. after all, how many times have we all said 'Ill never gamble again', or 'thats it, im done', and low and behold we are gambling again the next day He might go to prison or at least get huge fines for this since this is a serious crime and that will push him even more in to the bad ways imo and Im sure that is not good not to him neither to his kids or the partner, you can find better help than that Im sure. I think that would only solve the money problem and getting it back and fuck up the relationship and his mental health even more. He needs help not prison or getting even more in to debt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffles Posted June 18, 2019 Author Share Posted June 18, 2019 thank you so much for all your replys. i want them to get the help they need and kick their demons for good. im just worried about how serious of a crime this will be, and if they end up going to prison. i think if that wasnt a sure thing then in my own mind i know its the best option for both of us. thanks again all 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrUKHackz Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Do you have any gambling transactions to the same casino's on your bank account? If you do then they will pull the "you lost and want your money back card" and it will be a very lengthy case with lots of trouble along the way and no guarantee you even get your money back as its your partner. It's a sticky situation anyway and Im sorry you're going through it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kev40 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 We're there any id checks made by your partner to the casino? Passport driving licence etc. If your partner has even done that they have gone to great lengths to play on a site. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinkerbells Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 What a horrible situation to be in . My heart truly goes out to you. Xxx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamuk Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Unless he has "previous" he won't go to Prison considering the circumstances etc, you would have to give a victim statement etc and you could say you just want him to get help etc etc. I think Hackz has a very valid point, and it will be interesting to see your reply. Good luck with it all. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hacko 1 Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 If your partner is currently not well personally I would show them compassion, is their mental health state not a valid reason for why they have done this in the first place. I think the trauma of police interviews etc etc might have a adverse affect on their recovery. Maybe the weight of what he has done has impacted heavily on his mental health deteriorating and lead to his stay in hospital. Money can be made and saved again, by you telling him you know what’s he’s done and that you will stand by him could aid in his recovery. Its hard I know but we’re all only humans, no ones perfect. Good luck anyway which ever road you choose. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shades111 Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 its highly unlikely you will ever get the money back from whatever site he lost it on , im sure your story is 100% legit but imagine how many times they hear this story and stories just like it every week of life by people that have done all their coconuts and will go to any lengths to try and get their money back , these online sites have heard every sob story on earth but im afraid not one would have been refunded . 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0tsh0t87 Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 Just read your post a few times now a cc it doesn't make sense. Use don't have a lot of money but it took you a while to notice that £9000 is missing? It sounds like it happened over a lot of transactions as you said you had to go through your statements. Then a health condition on top of this situation. Everything you wrote sounds like you have spent too much and now are chasing your loses. If thats the case then I'm sorry u just need to accept it If your partner is struggling with mental health and stole your card. Created a account in your name then yes you need to go to the police as he not only committed fraud but theft aswell This post might be harsh and I could be completely wrong but we are gamblers so making excuses and blaming everyone else comes naturally 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddy from the hood Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 I have no advise, but want to wish you well with the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieGamble Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 4 hours ago, Shades111 said: its highly unlikely you will ever get the money back from whatever site he lost it on , im sure your story is 100% legit but imagine how many times they hear this story and stories just like it every week of life by people that have done all their coconuts and will go to any lengths to try and get their money back , these online sites have heard every sob story on earth but im afraid not one would have been refunded . If a crime is committed and proven then 100% the bank refunds the money. But given the circumstances - I think not only will the crime need to be officially record, it will also need to be solved in order for the bank to refund. Definitely a moral dilemma for sure but there is no doubt I'd be reporting it to the police because I would not accept anyone stealing 9k from me regardless of the circumstances. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david1111 Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 14 minutes ago, h0tsh0t87 said: Just read your post a few times now a cc it doesn't make sense. Use don't have a lot of money but it took you a while to notice that £9000 is missing? It sounds like it happened over a lot of transactions as you said you had to go through your statements. Then a health condition on top of this situation. Everything you wrote sounds like you have spent too much and now are chasing your loses. If thats the case then I'm sorry u just need to accept it If your partner is struggling with mental health and stole your card. Created a account in your name then yes you need to go to the police as he not only committed fraud but theft aswell This post might be harsh and I could be completely wrong but we are gamblers so making excuses and blaming everyone else comes naturally You could well be right but I think it's only fair to take the post at face value and give advice the best we can. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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