Jump to content

Season opener


Blampy

Recommended Posts

Don't fucking talk to me about my fucking diet.

 

Went to the Doctors a few weeks ago now for an annual checkup.

"I am going to be blunt..."

"Err okay Doc?"

"Yeah, you're getting a bit fat, its normal as you get older, but maybe you are a bit fatter than you should be"

"What?"

"Yeah.... I wouldn't worry about it too much, maybe just walk more or whatever"

*flashbacks to all the takeaways, selection boxes** and fastfood I had been troffing*

 

**How does one get moderately plump off a selection box nowadays anyway? Theres fuck all in them, the fucking curly wurlys are a bite. The crunchies no more than 2 bites. I guess I did eat a lot of them though.

 

Anyway, long story short, that really pissed me off, spoke to my missus afterwards and I was waiting for her to agree that the doctor is a fucking prick that doesn't know how to do his job and should be sacked for malpractice. But no, shes like "well you're getting a bit chubby". I was fucking straight out on the bike that afternoon. Fell off half an hour in, been on codeine and big macs since as my backs fucked.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bingo cancelled tonight due to adverse weather conditions. In other words fecked if I’m going out in this, so it will be a night in putting more weight due to my penchant for Chardonnay of which I have purchased two bottles. I haven’t got a bike and even if I did it could feck awwff too. 

COME ON ENGLAND ??????? 

  • Love 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Denman said:

**How does one get moderately plump off a selection box nowadays anyway? Theres fuck all in them, the fucking curly wurlys are a bite. The crunchies no more than 2 bites. I guess I did eat a lot of them though.

Does make you wonder what size the selection boxes were all those years ago when Santa was real 

I blame Brexit 

.

.

 

2528799156_c9eeeb9f1b.jpg

  • Love 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...