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Bangers

Little things that CHEER you UP

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Soooo we've had the Piss you off thread but with every yang we have a yin 

Sometimes really simple things cheer me up like the Christmas edition of Eastenders ......... JOKING!!  

Yeh it can be the simple things like a Dog with it's head out the window of a car going pretty fast down a Road or passes you on the Motorway and kind of looks in at you,  Some cracking names going about just now when i hear the mum or Dad shout on their kids i just piss myself laughing,  was in Pounland of all places one day and the Scummy Mummy turns to her little darling who was bouncing stock all about the place giving zero fucks and ORDERS her to put this lolly-pop BACK, she called the kid feckin Cleopatra,  every bit of my brain was just dancing and thinking .........Cleopatra comin Atcha 

Now very near me just last week i heard a Dad shout on his wee girl.........................Ariana..........................Yeh man this is feckin Scotland 

I was on one of those back to work groups in 2011 and i didn't see eye to eye with the Manager dude, he kicked my chair down back onto 4 legs from me swinging back on two, sure i did cool down after an hour or so but he did get a very valuable lesson that day on NOT WHAT to do around some adults ''not fecking children''  ok fair point i was swinging on the chair legs like a child but details FFS

Anyway i found out his second name was .........................DICK - so for the next 12 weeks refused to call him by his first name and called him Mr Dick  - that cheered me up on a daily basis and cheered up about another 16 others who also found this man a DICK.

I still have paperwork from when i was kicked off the course on week 11 and sanctioned for 12 weeks BUT I felt the laugh was worth it, if proof is required on his second name I'll happily provide it, the man was a DICK.

So what Cheers You Up ?

Edited by Bangers
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That really friendly waiting staff, Guy or Girl that it all just comes naturally to when serving or taking that food order,  I always return the nice gesture with a well deserved Tip, the look on their face as you leave just makes my day 

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When you wake up on a morning disorientated thinking it's work then realise it's Sunday 

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Guest centipede

getting a text or call from a particular person that you havent seen or spoke to in a while

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1 minute ago, centipede said:

getting a text or call from a particular person that you havent seen or spoke to in a while

@Miller26 maybe! ?

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Waiting (patiently) for many hours, in the back ground, for someone to stuff the hoppers, full of £50 notes on the Casino linked slots, then as they are leaving, with Zero ROI, you pop over, place a neat new plastic £5 in the deposit funds sucker slot and KerChing.. you win on the 1st spin! :clown:

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18 hours ago, Brownman24 said:

When your nan meets a younger man so you know he’s going to keep her sexually active

Ffs reminds me of that little Britain sketch. 

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On 10/09/2018 at 19:14, david1111 said:

Ffs reminds me of that little Britain sketch. 

I dearly wish it was a joke..

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27 minutes ago, lucy_ba said:

Cool side of the pillow

You are the first that gets that, that flip over and then out for another Snnnnnoooooozzzzzzeeeeee 

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Box fresh trainers 

Had a cracking pair of DC's a good few years back and was in Blackpool with my daughter and her wee pal, standing in line for one of the Coasters and the wee pal looks down and says...............New white trainers time to Christen,  stands on both my toes and twists 

My daughter Just looked at her as if ..................WTF are you doing 

It's in my Top 3 things Never to mess with

Don't FECK with my Box fresh trainers 

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Giant Caramac buttons 

BUT WAIT, WAIT WAIT WAIT

Freeze them first 

Where the fcuk do i get this stuff from ?

And all my Head teachers said I would NEVER account to anything 

 

images (6).jpg

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6 minutes ago, Bangers said:

Giant Caramac buttons 

BUT WAIT, WAIT WAIT WAIT

Freeze them first 

Where the fcuk do i get this stuff from ?

And all my Head teachers said I would NEVER account to anything 

 

images (6).jpg

Fecked if I know mate

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