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All in one : My story from the start!! My name is Antonin, I'm 25 years old, I come from France and I am a compulsive gambler in recovery (6 months gamble free) My life has never been easy for me because as a kid I was a bit shy and I never had many friend because of that I had a lack of confidence in myself I didn't want to talk to anybody and the only thing I wanted to do was to go on my computer and play video games I had a gaming addiction, the only game I wanted to play was FIFA 07 to 14 (song) (completly stopped at 19 years old) I always thought nobody was like me At school before 15 years old, while everyone enjoyed to play sports and talk to each other, I used to stay on my own I thought that I could never be a "normal" person At 15 years old, I used to talk a bit more and I had some really good friends I used to play soccer a lot, I was very good at it Some people wanted me to play in a club but I was still a bit shy so I never did When I look back now, I regret it ... At 20 years old, One day, my father told me : "Antonin, if you want to do something with your life you must learn English , it's very useful" Few months later after we found a place where to go, I was in england to learn the language No need to tell you how hard it was to speak english but I had no choice and I should manage this on my own After 7 months over there, I'm not bilingual yet but I can have a conversation with an english person So, I came back to France ... At 21 years old, After all these years, I've experienced traumas in childhood including : Parents getting divorced and Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) I found a job so I could earn my own money but I was introduced to online gambling not long after my first pay check And here started the worst period of my life When I look back, I escalated into a compulsive gambler very quickly I had money in my bank that I could spend with no thought I had no idea what the gambling addiction was On a night I had been winning more than €6000, it was like a dream , I thought I could make a living from gambling ... I can still recall that high feeling I ended up losing it all. I always wanted to get it all back, no matter what I always chased my losses . I always thought I was smarter than the Casino I've spent all that time and energy gambling online, dealt with emotional lows of bad beats I sacrificed food and sleep. I was gambling to make some money As we all know, it doesn't work that way, it couldn't be the case ... I used to make large bets €400, €600, €1500 on a roulette spin. I was hoping for a hot streak. By then, I was usually exhausted and just really wanted to get my money back or losing it all More than often, I would lose it all I would always minimize my losses, saying I lost €400 when in reality that was €3000 At the end I lost arround 30k in total At 25 years old, 4 March 2019, I finally quit gambling, and since then my life has improved a lot When looking at the difficulties that I have faced I can see in retrospect that these challenges ultimately made me stronger and taught me some important lessons ** The benefits ** - I've got confident in myself and clearly a different person - Money in the bank to do whatever I want - Family now trusts me - I've plans - No more mood swings - More time to see my loved ones - More time to do hobbies I liked before (soccer, bike, design) But why I was gambling I was gambling in order to escape from negative emotions. These emotions include loneliness and boredom I was rushing off to my gambling site to "de-stress" after a hectic day at work Once the session had begun, this intense focus on play is a powerful distraction, and personal problems seemed to miraculously disappear Gambling is such an effective means of distraction, a powerful means of escape, that I didn't see my gambling as a problem in my life I believed it was a part of the solution ... The reality though, is that gambling plays a detrimental role in the lives of gamblers. It can cause a range of harms, financial, health issues and emotional problems Understanding why I couldn't stop once I had started is a crucial step in quitting gambling Every now and then, I get the urge to gamble but it's far less as it used be and now not a problem If I ever get the urge, I know the consequences and that's enough not to gamble Where I am now I'm living ultimately a better live The fact I quit gambling is a huge thing I don't get worried to pay my rent and bills I stay busy all the time so I don't think to gambling The peace I have now without gambling is enough to stay away from it A friend of mine couldn't believe how much I'd changed during all that time The message I have to tell to the compulsive gamblers : One thing that makes your dream become impossible : the fear of failure If your determination is fixed, I suggest you do not despair The great things are performed by perseverance Say to yourself every single day : "I can acheive EVERYTHING I want to do" It's not easy but you're better than that YOU want a better life but nothing can happen if you don't want it. Only you can change. I was like all of you, not better, not worst, I thought it was impossible to quit BUT I was wrong ... IT IS POSSIBLE TO QUIT!! To this day, 30 august 2019, I hope that anyone who suffers from this evil addiction gets the faith to quit Gambling ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ This community TGC is now like a part of my life and I will always be thankful because I have met people that I couldn't ever met in my real life Well done and thanks to the owner of this site for making this happen @Rocknrolla. One of the most kindest person Thanks to the mods and admins, especially @MrUKHackz You're doing a fantastic job Thank you to the members, ALL of them, especially @david1111 you're amazing, no matter what, you've always been by my side and @Bangers to show me the way with the others who have followed my thread : Everything is lost again : I'm lost!! Thanks a MILLION!!! Much LOVE ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------