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All in one : My story from the start!! My name is Antonin, I'm 25 years old, I come from France ?? and I am a compulsive gambler in recovery (6 months gamble free) My life has never been easy for me because as a kid I was a bit shy and I never had many friend because of that I had a lack of confidence in myself I didn't want to talk to anybody and the only thing I wanted to do was to go on my computer and play video games I had a gaming ? addiction, the only game I wanted to play was FIFA 07 to 14 (song) (completly stopped at 19 years old) I always thought nobody was like me ? At school before 15 years old, while everyone enjoyed to play sports and talk to each other, I used to stay on my own I thought that I could never be a "normal" person ? At 15 years old, I used to talk ?️ a bit more and I had some really good friends I used to play soccer a lot, I was very good at it Some people wanted me to play in a club but I was still a bit shy so I never did When I look back now, I regret it ... ? ? At 20 years old, One day, my father told me : "Antonin, if you want to do something with your life you must learn English ???????, it's very useful" Few months later after we found a place where to go, I was in england to learn the language No need to tell you how hard it was to speak english but I had no choice and I should manage this on my own After 7 months over there, I'm not bilingual yet but I can have a conversation with an english person So, I came back to France ... ? At 21 years old, After all these years, I've experienced traumas in childhood including : Parents getting divorced ?? and Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) ? I found a job so I could earn my own money but I was introduced to online gambling not long after my first pay check And here started the worst period of my life When I look back, I escalated into a compulsive gambler very quickly I had money in my bank that I could spend with no thought I had no idea what the gambling addiction was On a night I had been winning more than €6000, it was like a dream , I thought I could make a living from gambling ... I can still recall that high feeling I ended up losing it all. I always wanted to get it all back, no matter what I always chased my losses . I always thought I was smarter than the Casino I've spent all that time and energy gambling online, dealt with emotional lows of bad beats I sacrificed food and sleep. I was gambling to make some money As we all know, it doesn't work that way, it couldn't be the case ... I used to make large bets €400, €600, €1500 on a roulette spin. I was hoping for a hot streak. By then, I was usually exhausted and just really wanted to get my money back or losing it all More than often, I would lose it all ? I would always minimize my losses, saying I lost €400 when in reality that was €3000 At the end I lost arround 30k in total ? ? At 25 years old, ? 4 March 2019, I finally quit gambling, and since then my life has improved a lot When looking at the difficulties that I have faced I can see in retrospect that these challenges ultimately made me stronger and taught me some important lessons ** The benefits ** ?️ - I've got confident in myself and clearly a different person - Money ? in the bank to do whatever I want - Family now trusts me - I've plans - No more mood swings - More time to see my loved ones - More time to do hobbies I liked before (soccer, bike, design) But why I was gambling I was gambling in order to escape from negative emotions. These emotions include loneliness and boredom I was rushing off to my gambling site to "de-stress" after a hectic day at work Once the session had begun, this intense focus on play is a powerful distraction, and personal problems seemed to miraculously disappear Gambling is such an effective means of distraction, a powerful means of escape, that I didn't see my gambling as a problem in my life I believed it was a part of the solution ... The reality though, is that gambling plays a detrimental role in the lives of gamblers. It can cause a range of harms, financial, health issues and emotional problems Understanding why I couldn't stop once I had started is a crucial step in quitting gambling Every now and then, I get the urge to gamble but it's far less as it used be and now not a problem If I ever get the urge, I know the consequences and that's enough not to gamble Where I am now I'm living ultimately a better live The fact I quit gambling is a huge thing I don't get worried to pay my rent and bills I stay busy all the time so I don't think to gambling The peace I have now without gambling is enough to stay away from it A friend of mine couldn't believe how much I'd changed during all that time ? The message I have to tell to the compulsive gamblers : ? One thing that makes your dream become impossible : the fear of failure If your determination is fixed, I suggest you do not despair The great things are performed by perseverance Say to yourself every single day : "I can acheive EVERYTHING I want to do" It's not easy but you're better than that YOU want a better life but nothing can happen if you don't want it. Only you can change. I was like all of you, not better, not worst, I thought it was impossible to quit BUT I was wrong ... IT IS POSSIBLE TO QUIT!! To this day, ? 30 august 2019, I hope that anyone who suffers from this evil addiction gets the faith to quit Gambling ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ This community TGC is now like a part of my life and I will always be thankful because I have met people that I couldn't ever met in my real life Well done and thanks to the owner of this site for making this happen @Rocknrolla. One of the most kindest person ? Thanks to the mods and admins, especially @MrUKHackz You're doing a fantastic job? Thank you to the members, ALL of them, especially @david1111 you're amazing, no matter what, you've always been by my side and @Bangers to show me the way with the others who have followed my thread : Everything is lost again : I'm lost!! Thanks a MILLION!!! Much LOVE ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------
GAMSTOP has now gone live, you can use this to self exclude yourself online, it is new so there may still be some operators that it doesn't block. However it is free and a step in the right direction from the governing bodies for gambling https://www.gamstop.co.uk/