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All in one : My story from the start!! My name is Antonin, I'm 25 years old, I come from France ?? and I am a compulsive gambler in recovery (6 months gamble free) My life has never been easy for me because as a kid I was a bit shy and I never had many friend because of that I had a lack of confidence in myself I didn't want to talk to anybody and the only thing I wanted to do was to go on my computer and play video games I had a gaming ? addiction, the only game I wanted to play was FIFA 07 to 14 (song) (completly stopped at 19 years old) I always thought nobody was like me ? At school before 15 years old, while everyone enjoyed to play sports and talk to each other, I used to stay on my own I thought that I could never be a "normal" person ? At 15 years old, I used to talk ?️ a bit more and I had some really good friends I used to play soccer a lot, I was very good at it Some people wanted me to play in a club but I was still a bit shy so I never did When I look back now, I regret it ... ? ? At 20 years old, One day, my father told me : "Antonin, if you want to do something with your life you must learn English ???????, it's very useful" Few months later after we found a place where to go, I was in england to learn the language No need to tell you how hard it was to speak english but I had no choice and I should manage this on my own After 7 months over there, I'm not bilingual yet but I can have a conversation with an english person So, I came back to France ... ? At 21 years old, After all these years, I've experienced traumas in childhood including : Parents getting divorced ?? and Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) ? I found a job so I could earn my own money but I was introduced to online gambling not long after my first pay check And here started the worst period of my life When I look back, I escalated into a compulsive gambler very quickly I had money in my bank that I could spend with no thought I had no idea what the gambling addiction was On a night I had been winning more than €6000, it was like a dream , I thought I could make a living from gambling ... I can still recall that high feeling I ended up losing it all. I always wanted to get it all back, no matter what I always chased my losses . I always thought I was smarter than the Casino I've spent all that time and energy gambling online, dealt with emotional lows of bad beats I sacrificed food and sleep. I was gambling to make some money As we all know, it doesn't work that way, it couldn't be the case ... I used to make large bets €400, €600, €1500 on a roulette spin. I was hoping for a hot streak. By then, I was usually exhausted and just really wanted to get my money back or losing it all More than often, I would lose it all ? I would always minimize my losses, saying I lost €400 when in reality that was €3000 At the end I lost arround 30k in total ? ? At 25 years old, ? 4 March 2019, I finally quit gambling, and since then my life has improved a lot When looking at the difficulties that I have faced I can see in retrospect that these challenges ultimately made me stronger and taught me some important lessons ** The benefits ** ?️ - I've got confident in myself and clearly a different person - Money ? in the bank to do whatever I want - Family now trusts me - I've plans - No more mood swings - More time to see my loved ones - More time to do hobbies I liked before (soccer, bike, design) But why I was gambling I was gambling in order to escape from negative emotions. These emotions include loneliness and boredom I was rushing off to my gambling site to "de-stress" after a hectic day at work Once the session had begun, this intense focus on play is a powerful distraction, and personal problems seemed to miraculously disappear Gambling is such an effective means of distraction, a powerful means of escape, that I didn't see my gambling as a problem in my life I believed it was a part of the solution ... The reality though, is that gambling plays a detrimental role in the lives of gamblers. It can cause a range of harms, financial, health issues and emotional problems Understanding why I couldn't stop once I had started is a crucial step in quitting gambling Every now and then, I get the urge to gamble but it's far less as it used be and now not a problem If I ever get the urge, I know the consequences and that's enough not to gamble Where I am now I'm living ultimately a better live The fact I quit gambling is a huge thing I don't get worried to pay my rent and bills I stay busy all the time so I don't think to gambling The peace I have now without gambling is enough to stay away from it A friend of mine couldn't believe how much I'd changed during all that time ? The message I have to tell to the compulsive gamblers : ? One thing that makes your dream become impossible : the fear of failure If your determination is fixed, I suggest you do not despair The great things are performed by perseverance Say to yourself every single day : "I can acheive EVERYTHING I want to do" It's not easy but you're better than that YOU want a better life but nothing can happen if you don't want it. Only you can change. I was like all of you, not better, not worst, I thought it was impossible to quit BUT I was wrong ... IT IS POSSIBLE TO QUIT!! To this day, ? 30 august 2019, I hope that anyone who suffers from this evil addiction gets the faith to quit Gambling ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ This community TGC is now like a part of my life and I will always be thankful because I have met people that I couldn't ever met in my real life Well done and thanks to the owner of this site for making this happen @Rocknrolla. One of the most kindest person ? Thanks to the mods and admins, especially @MrUKHackz You're doing a fantastic job? Thank you to the members, ALL of them, especially @david1111 you're amazing, no matter what, you've always been by my side and @Bangers to show me the way with the others who have followed my thread : Everything is lost again : I'm lost!! Thanks a MILLION!!! Much LOVE ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------
Antonin posted a topic in Chat, support, help
Billions of years ago formless beings ruled the universe. Much in the same way that you all aspire to live now they made their days full of all that God provided. Their joy was evident, their purpose clear. To fulfil god’s wishes they formed alliances with the Universality of Love. These alliances brought great and powerful beings together, and new treaties were forged. In this golden era our technology was great, and our measure of purpose was secured by Truth itself The corporeal body that you have now did not exist then. We indeed had a defined shape, but were able to modify our appearance and clarify or densify it at will. Pure Thought and truth governed this expression. As a result many of the beings who joined our worlds benefited from our spiritual gifts and enriched their lives greatly. For nearly 15 billion years the peace was maintained in the cosmic array. So now we shall speak about the events that perturbed space and set the universal cosmic wisdom on a collision course with those same beings...... On a small planet in the middle of the Alpha Quadrant events were shaping which would determine the lives of billions, and indeed create the need for your future world, the Earth. Hidden away in the mountains of Senefos, , a great white wizard was planning to change his purpose to enrich his own people above all others. He had developed a form of thought which bound formless beings together. This form of thought could be attuned to a single matrix. Whosoever controlled this matrix would have power over galaxies of space, and all those who inhabited that space. Indeed he did take all control for himself and in doing so moved into an area of Dark intent and he became white no more and moved forward as a being of darkness. Soon this intent became darkness and began to radiate force over the other universal forms that occupied all space in the Alpha quadrant. From this small beginning an evil catastrophe of universal proportion was about to take place. God, recognising the evil intent of the wizard, immediately sent a great Light being , to command him to retract his actions. However the wizard was unwilling to give up his self to GOD, and to obey the command, and attempted to move against the Light. This caused a great and inevitable response. . And so it began............ The great War of Time The great War of Time had begun. Many areas of universality began to be charged with dark intent and aligned to the false self. Beings from other forms of time, who existed outside the universality of love entered into the war, bringing new, untested thought weapons for the wizard to apply against the Light. The fabric of Time was compromised by the very density of evil that grew into form. Android technology and biosonic weapons provoked the Light to act quickly to stem the invasion of demonic energies. Nothing survived the sonic lance . All form and space, matter and thought in the Alpha Quadrant of the universe weredissolved into plasmic fire. The Great Warrior of Light, did not choose to destroy the Light matrices present, but the thought files applied by the dark wizard and his allies had bound light and dark matrices together and thus it was impossible to separate friend from foe. The destruction in the Alpha Quadrant was total. All the alien forces that had joined the dark wizard from the future were also vaporised and subjected to subsequent transmigration. The Great War of Time.......aftermath The Great Light being took all the thought and material detritus from the great war of Time and encapsulated it into a new form. This form was materially diffuse and disparate, without life. He compounded the form into 300 planets and moved them into the empty area of dark space. He then issued a command that created sixty suns; for each sun he created a polarity, which was aligned to 10 planets. This polarity would apply a force to hold the planets in a specific state. This form of polarity is what humans call gravity. Nine of the planets would have dense material and the 10th is of unseen form. The purpose of this last planet will be made clear later. On each of the three hundred planets 12 forms of Time constant were created and manifested in five geometric languages. Each of the Time forms spoke all five logarithmic tongues. This golden language has never been activated on the Earth. It will be activated by the silver exercises in the last chapter of Book one. He then spent 5,000 years in the solar system (earth time), diffusing the thoughts of the dark matter beings until it could be transformed into another substance. This substance is called metal, and represents the beings of all those who applied dark force against the Light during the great war of Time, (excepting Silver and Gold which are plasmically tuned). He transmuted them all into electro-magnetic variables that allowed light to govern their progress in a new control function of space which separated all form into packets of consciousness and layered it universally on thought elevations and seeded it into the fabric of the sacred core of the Universe. At the centre is a planet called earth, and its function is called TIME. e.